Ever wondered, as a child, a teenager, a young adult; what your love story would be like? Who you’re going to spend the rest of your life with?
I didn’t. Until recently. I’d never believed in love as a kid. I hated that every book. every movie was always about this cliche ‘love’. I hated it. Then, I grew to realize the love isn’t just something between a man and a woman. Love was for everyone you cared about – parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, relations, pets, books…..lots of things. I still didn’t exactly care about the romantic kind of love, not even when my friends in school gushed about their boyfriends.
I never considered myself romantic. I did however start reading or watching romcoms or lovey dovey stuff. I scoffed at it mostly, in the beginning. Then, I started appreciating the sentiments behind it. I got to meet a lot more people, at university. I saw a lot more real love stories – arranged engagements, love at first sight, broken hearts. Love stories don’t always end well. But still no one gives up on love.
I met a lot of different people too, ones who loved the idea of love, the romantic optimists, the sarcastic idealists, the ones who thought love was a myth, the bitter realists, the ones who didn’t care a fig about love and planned on living a blissful single life without any drama…I understood them all. They all had a point.
Yet, I couldn’t help but wonder, if I had a love story, what would I want it to be like????
I think it’ll go like this-
Boy meets girl (me, obviously). We become friends. We talk….a lot. We share common interests we can discuss for hours without getting bored. We have not so common interests we can debate about. We just hang out. And fall in love. Preferably when we are spending hours together in a library, or on a long walk in the countryside. We both give each other clues that we want to be more than just friends. And we both act on it. Our dates won’t be weird. It’ll be the same, the same comfortable company, the same long talks, only with more hand-holding. And maybe some cuddling.
My love story doesn’t need gifts or music or surprise. I think that’s because I don’t need those things to make me happy. I need a friend, a partner. Someone who’d never give up on me even when I give up on myself. Someone to walk beside me through life. I know, its the same cheesy things people say. I’ve seen people fall out of love. I’ve seen people fall deeply in love. I don’t want either end. I want a balance. A friendly kind of love.
I had the chance, once, to get my dream love story. We were best friends. We shared everything -interests, hopes, dreams. Except my parents approval. There was a day, a chance when I could have just said yes to my perfect love story. But I didn’t. And I wonder, everyday what would have happened if I had said yes. Would it have lasted?
I realized then, what my perfect, dream love story lacked. I might want this kind of love. But I needed another kind of love too. My family’s. I need both. I can’t throw my past away, just for a chance at my future. I need my smiles from the past and my dreams from the future to spark my present into a colorful one.
I always revisit that day, when I could have said yes. But my answer will not change. I will wonder, always, but I wouldn’t give up
So does love really exist?Or is it just chemicals secreted by the brain (which, as a biologist, I know all about)? Or is it a temporary lapse of judgement?
I don’t know. But I have hope. I hope its real. I don’t know if I will get my perfect love story. But I am waiting. And I am hoping….