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The weird trap called caring

Life is so weird. I haven’t really lived long enough to say that but I think even children soon reach that conclusion. And something weird about life –  relationships.

Be it friendship, relations with family or love – its all so weird. Emotion makes it so weird. We can’t always say what we feel. Sometimes, I don’t even know what I feel, let alone say it. And if we do say it, then the relation becomes even more weird.

Caring. We care for a lot of people. It may not be in the way they want us to. They may resent it being too little or too much. And in this trap called caring, we do things that we regret. We do weird, weird things. And then we expect. We expect care in return. When that doesn’t happen, we feel hurt, betrayed, depressed.

Me- I’m in the socially awkward category. I can’t express these pesky feelings and if anyone does, I gape, swallow and babble the first things I think of. Which isn’t the nicest things really. I say and do things. I mean well. But it doesn’t always end well. And then I wallow in guilt.

“Ugh! I didn’t mean for it to happen. It just did. I’m sorry ok! Leave me alone!”

See, in this trap of caring, we do things that hurt the others,but really we do it because we mean well. We care. Maybe not in the way the other person expects, but we still do. Its better it hurts little now than more later. And better to cut strings now than try to saw through ropes later. More pain then.

In this weird life, atleast one thing is true. Hurt thankfully fades away. Slowly, but it does go away. With a little help.

Thank God for television and ice cream!

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Author:

I'm a writer, a poet, an observer and a studier of life.

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